BBE!!!

Well, I was hoping to get in a post 6-weeks after Silas, but that turned into 2 months, and now we're at 10.5 weeks! Life with two kids is definitely BUSY!
With any baby the first weeks and months are definitely a difficult adjustment, and as most of you know, Ian was an extra difficult baby up until about 6 months or so. But I'm happy to report that our prayers have been answered, and Silas is an AWESOME baby. We like to call him the Best Baby Ever, or BBE. Of course, we've only had two babies, and maybe he's just average in the grand scheme of things. But compared to Ian as a baby, he's amazing! We try not to say this too much in front of Ian, by the way. Silas naps like a champ, is almost always happy when his basics needs are taken care of, and we're starting to get more sleep at night. His main issue has just been gassiness, and of course you always blame mom for what she's eaten when baby gets gassy. Since we usually eat a vegetarian diet of lots of beans and vegetables (which tend to make Silas really gassy and irritable, usually in the middle of the night), it's been making my meal choices a bit tricker. Eating mostly peanut butter and carbs doesn't exactly make losing the last 10 lbs of baby weight very easy. But I guess it's a good trade off for having such a happy baby. And let's be honest, peanut butter makes me happy (at least while I'm eating it!)

Ian's been a great big brother. He loves giving Silas kisses, and he likes hanging out on the playmat with Silas. And he's actually been fairly helpful in general with finding pacifiers and bringing me gas drops, etc. But he's been acting out in other ways, like throwing toys and pushing other kids when he's in child care. He got kicked out of MOPS twice, and asked to leave Sunday School once. Whoops. Obviously it's kind of frustrating, but I think he's getting over the worst of his behavior. I keep telling myself his world has been rocked, and he bound to act out a bit. And I'm glad he's hitting other people's kids instead of his brother. Just kidding.

 

 

After his two-month check up, we can officially say Silas is gigantic. He weighs 15 1/2 lbs already, which puts him off the charts. Ian was 12'10" at two months and was in the 90th percentile, so Silas already has 3 pounds on him. Why are our kids so huge? Guess I must have some extra fatty breast milk or something. Must be the peanut butter.


I've been back to Zumba for about 6 weeks, and I'm so glad to have an outlet! I love my children, but it's nice to take a mental break for a couple of hours during the week. I don't know if my kids will grow up thinking I'm crazy, or if they'll just think it's normal for their mom to randomly break out into a salsa in the middle of making dinner, but I'm often choreographing in my head throughout the day. I guess it's my creative outlet, or maybe just my mental escape from changing diapers (yes, two sets still. sigh. we're getting there!)

So life if busy and full and exhausting, but I am so thankful to be the mother of two wonderful boys! And please don't ask if we're going to try for a girl. We're pretty sure our family is complete now, unless God has other plans. Gulp!

Baby Silas' Birth

I probably should be taking a nap, but I figured it'd be good to get out my thoughts on baby Silas' birth before my parents leave and I don't have any free time! So for those of you who like this kind of thing, enjoy. Excuse the choppiness, gramatical errors, and misspellings, as I'll be glad just to get this story out of my head and onto this blog!

I'm still feeling like it's a bit surreal that there was a 10 pound baby inside of me last week, and now I'm feeling pretty much back to normal. I can bend over and tie my shoes, and I'm not peeing 6 times a night! I don't know how anyone can have a baby and not feel the power of God in the experience. It really is the biggest miracle!

Ian was induced 2.5 weeks early, so for some reason I was thinking baby #2 might come a bit early as well. Alas, he waited until his due date (actually he missed his due date by 56 minutes), and I must say those last 2 and a half weeks were getting fairly miserable. After a relatively easy pregnancy, I can't complain, but everything in life was getting more difficult and was I ready to get baby OUT!

On my due date I went to my OB appt. and I was about 3 cm dilated. Since we have a history of large babies in our family, we sheduled an induction for three days later. The doctor stripped my membranes (I'm not exactly sure what that does, and it sounds way more painful than it actually was), which is supposed to get things moving. Well move they did because about half an hour after I got home from the doc while I was getting ready for Zumba, my water broke! Such a weird feeling. I stood in the kitchen not knowing what to do for a minute, but then decided I should probably call Troy who was on his way home from work. I wasn't feeling any contractions, so I decided I should probably straighten up the house a bit, which was the messiest it had been in days, and finish packing my bags.

We got to the hospital around 5:30 p.m. and I was about 5 cm dilated, but still not feeling any contractions. They gave me pitocin to get things rolling, and we basically waited for awhile. After a couple of hours I still wasn't really feeling any contractions, and I was dilated about the same. When the nurse checked my cervix, my water broke again! Apparently only part of it broke before, so that was probably what was holding things up a bit. After that, the doctor encouraged me to get an epidural sooner than later, since things could progress quickly. I was just barely starting to feel contractions when I got the epidural. We were very blessed to have the best anesthesiologist (according to my doctor and the nurse) that evening. Because of my scoliosis, that was one thing I was a bit nervous about, but she did an amazing job. Troy left the room, so we had no near-fainting episodes this time around. The epidural was perfect! I could still feel and move my legs from the knee down, and felt like I had control, but couldn't feel the contractions. Whoever invented these is a genius!

After another hour or so things continued to progress. I had been alternating between laying on my sides when the nurse asked me to lay on my back. Suddenly two other nurses and my doctor came quickly into the room because the baby's heart rate started to drop. It went from 140 to 90 in a short amount of time. They gave me some sort of shot to stop my contractions, and stopped the pitocin. I wasn't super nervous at the time, but looking back it was a bit scary. Thankfully after 30-45 minutes or so baby's heart rate was stabilized, and they put me back onto pitocin. They don't know why the heartrate dropped, but it was more than likely because he descended quickly or didn't like the position I was in.

That ordeal slowed the process down a bit. I was fully dilated and ready to push around 12:30 am. At 12:56, Silas Allan was born! Of course all of the initial comments were about how big he was. My doctor said she thought he was at least nine pounds. I was slightly shocked when they weighed him and he was 10 lbs. 2.2 ounces. What? I knew we wouldn't have a little peanut, but over 10 lbs is a bit ridiculous! His head was extra large too, so I had to have an episiotomy and I had a third degree tear (sorry, but it happens!), but overall I was so thankful he was able to come out naturally.

Silas was slightly jaundiced and had to go under the bili bassinet for about 18 hours. I was really worried we'd have to be readmitted like we did for Ian, but thankfully we didn't!

We're at home adjusting to life. My mom has been a huge help, and has done a million loads of laundry and cooked all of our meals while my dad has been playing with Ian. Troy had surgery on his meniscus yesterday, and honestly it's a bit annoying to have to care for your husband right after having a baby, but chalk that up to bad timing.

I'm slightly terrified of what life will look like once my parents are gone and Troy is back to work, but I know the majority of people in the world do life with more than one kid. I can too! I just don't do well with lack of sleep, and I start to get paranoid that everything I do will ruin Silas' schedule for life, but I'm trying to be a bit more laid back. This too shall pass. It's a hard balance between enjoying the precious few moments of having a newborn, and wishing for the first few months to pass quickly because they are so exhausting and mentally draining. And even though we're praying for a baby who sleeps a lot at night quickly, I'm trying to be truly thankful for a perfectly healthy baby who has no complications or conditions.

Oh, and Silas is a nursing champ. At his one week appt. he was 10 lbs 8 oz. He's nursing A LOT, but hey, I guess a 10 pounder needs a bit more milk than the average baby!

Helloooo Baby

It's been 7 months since my last post. Oops!

Well, a bit has happened since then. I'm now 35 weeks pregnant with baby boy #2! One funny thing about being pregnant is that people like to comment on your appearance. I've noticed it more this time around, maybe because I dance around in front of a lot of people three times a week at Zumba in a tight tank top (that's now a reeaaaaally tight tank top). I think I've been told I look cute more in the last few months than in my entire life combined (I must not have been very cute last time I was pregnant). People also like to comment on how big you are. During one Zumba class several months ago, a couple of people told me I looked tiny, and other person asked if I was having twins. Just this weekend someone at church told me I looked small, and then another person asked when I was due, shook her head and said "you must be having a ten pound baby!" Um, thanks??

Note to self: It might not be the best idea to make such comments to hormonal, overly emotional pregnant women who aren't feeling great about their appearance in general.

In some ways this pregnancy has flown by, and in other ways it feels like I've been pregnant FOREVER! I think I'm enjoying pregnancy less in general, not because it's been super hard, but because the newness and excitment from the first pregnancy has worn off. And honestly, though I'm so thankful for the blessing of another child, especially after having a miscarriage, it's taken me a while to get excited about having another baby...and I think I'm still working on that excitement a bit for a couple of reasons.

Most of you know that Ian was a difficult baby. The doctor called it colic, but I think that's just what they say when your baby cries a lot and isn't very happy and they don't know why. As a perfectionist who likes everything in order and relatively scheduled, it was a humbling experience to have a newborn who would barely take a nap, no matter what I did. No amount of baby books helped, and I felt like a failure as a parent. The mention of Babywise practically brought me to tears...tried it. didn't work. Six months down the road Ian finally fell into the routine I'd desperately longed for, and has been a great sleeper ever since. I told Troy I'd take an incredibly fussy baby for six months again if it meant having a great sleeping toddler. But I'm still traumatized from that long half of a year, and I'm hoping to have even an average baby on the sleep scale!

Another reason that it's been hard for me to get really excited about having another baby is the Zumba class I teach. It's been a huge blessing and a much needed outlet in my life, so giving it up for a while will be difficult (though it will be in the extremely capable hands of the lovely Courtney Fair). People will probably have to drag me away from teaching, and then I'll be sneaking back before my doctor really okays it...please don't tell her! Of course, this thinking just points to my selfishness, which parenting in general has a way of doing...hmmm.

Here's one think I'm hoping doesn't happen in the next 5 weeks:

Ouch! That was actually taken a couple of days after Ian was born. I was induced because he was measuring 6 weeks ahead and my BP was going up and my feet were swelling (no kidding!) No one tells you that huge cankles might be as uncomfortable as a third-degree tear :/ We're taking bets on how big this kid will be since at three weeks early Ian was 8'10''. We grown em large in our family. I guess if he's 10 pounds that'll be less weight for me to lose!

One other area of excitment in my life is that I'm taking an exam on Friday through AFAA (Aerobics and Fitness Association of America) to become a certified group exercise instructor. The knowledge in general will help me be a better Zumba instructor, but I'd love to eventually start teaching another class, maybe kickboxing or soemthing like that. The test will be pretty strenuous, and though I'm fairly confident in my knowledge of the material, being 8-months pregnant will make some of the practical demonstrations interesting (envision me doing crunches on the floor). But I figured it's now or who knows when I'll be able to get this certification once the baby is here. Wish me luck!

Hope the seven months was worth the wait as you've read about the excitment in my life :)

Those darn weeds

I'm pretty sure our neighbors cringe when they look at our yard. While theirs are neatly manicured and filled with beautiful flowers and neatly trimmed plants, ours is filled with large plastic toys and the occasional broken piece of furniture we're too lazy to deal with at the moment. If it wasn't for the house across the street that looks like the local carnival set up shop, we'd be the shame of the neighborhood, I'm sure.

My parents weren't really 'yard people' when I was growing up. As long as the grass was mowed and the weeds weren't too out of control, we were all happy. Now that I'm a home owner myself, I take pride in our house, but the yard often seems to get away from us. I was outside pulling some gigantic weeks around our house the other day, and I was amazed at how fast they had grown. It had been a couple of weeks, but some of them were three feet tall! How is that even possible?

I couldn't help but think of the parallel between these nasty weeds in our landscaping and the weeds that easily pop up in my life. I try my hardest to read the Word most days and to pray a bit, but it's a constant struggle. When I let this important part of my life go, even for a couple of weeks, those ugly weeds I try to pull away grow tall and strong. Most of the time my husband and son feel the full prickly effect of these nasty weeds. Other times it's just my own self worth that is affected. I start to get negative and critical, mostly towards myself, but also towards others.

I've been trying to read the Bible in a year. Even though I'm a couple of days behind right now (okay, maybe seven or eights days behind), it's been a really good spiritual discipline for me. Sometimes it feels like I'm just trying to check it off the list (I LOVE checklists!), but I've honestly read parts of the Bible I've never read before. And reading it all in order puts certain things into context that I've never before realized.

I'm glad I serve a God who doesn't check my Bible reading off of a list, and who is merciful enough to love me even when I'm surrounded by weeds, especially those reoccuring ones. I wish I could just pick all of the weeds in my life and they'd be gone forever, but then I guess I wouldn't really have the need for a Savior.

I think from now on when I'm outside pulling those nasty weeds in the landscaping (and the neighbors are shaking their heads in disappointment), I'll be evaluating the weeds in my life and asking the Lord to continually uproot them.

Ode to my mama!

My mom is an amazing woman! She's my best friend, and my role model for motherhood. Now that I've been a mom myself for awhile, I have a new appreciation for all she's done, and all she continues to do. Here are a few things I've learned from her.


Be a good listener! My mom is a great listener. She engages people, asks them questions, and truly cares about what they're saying. She doesn't feel the need to always talk about herself. This can be a quality that is hard to find in people, so I am thankful that I had such a great role model in this area.

Frugality! I inherited my love of garage sales from my mom. But not only that, she's taught be how to be frugal in most areas of life. Because we were pretty poor growing up, we rarely ate out, went to movies or took fancy vacations (usually we traveled from Michigan to Illinois to visit my dad's dysfunctional family, if you want to call that a vacation). However, I don't feel like I missed out on anything! We have great memories of the times we had as a family. We didn't need McDonald's to make us happy!

Cleanliness does not equal Godliness! No, we didn't grow up in a pig stye. My mom was a great housekeeper, she just didn't get overwhelmed by a bit of clutter and dust. My sister and I had are usual chores and such, but i don't ever remember my mom getting too bent out of shape if our rooms weren't spotless or there were a few dirty socks sitting around the house. It may be from her that I first heard the saying "a clean house is a sign of a wasted life" (at least when you have kids!) I try to keep that in perspective when the house looks like it exploded an hour after I've tried to clean everything!

Don't spoil your kids, save it for the grandkids! We were by no means spoiled. We were provided for and rewarded with special gifts on occasion, but my mom did a great job of teaching us that we aren't entitled to anything. Now that she's a grandma, I see her do things with and for Ian that she never would have with us! I guess she's earned it :)

If you're going to be a nut, be a health nut! My mom has always loved nutrition! Had it not been for a terrible experience in a chemistry class during college, she says she would have become a dietician. Instead, she majored in home economics. I'd say she's utilized that degree to the fullest. We all know that moms really are dieticians anyways! When we were really young, nary a smidge of processed food made it into our house...except maybe King Vitamin cereal. My mom is always coming up with new recipes, ideas, and theories that may sound crazy to me at first, but then I do a little more reading and research, and I end up doing the same thing myself! She's the queen of sprouting beans, roasting her own coffee, mixing up concoctions of salad dressings, and making healthy things from scratch! She's a great role model for healthy living and eating.

Exercise is important! Like most women, my mom has struggled with her weight most of her life. BUT, she never made weight a huge issue for me or my sister. She encouraged us to be healthy and to live active lifestyles and she modeled this herself. I used to throw in her Jane Fonda VHS while my sister sat on the couch and laughed at me (sorry, Heidi, you know it's true!) Plus, she took me to my first Zumba class almost three years ago! Who would have thought I'd get the crazy idea to start my own class?!

Be faithful to the Lord, even when times are tough! My mom didn't grow up in a Christian home. In a way, I think this has forced her to really think through and seek guidance on issues of sprituality and raising a family. When she was 19, she and my dad began their marriage as house parents to deliquent teenage boys. She cooked, cleaned, and attempted to keep them in line, all for $8,000 a year for both of them. Sounds like torture to me! Since then she and my dad have had their share of ups and downs, especially with my dad losing his job twice in the past ten years. She has graciously supported him while being honest about her struggles and questions. I admire her faith, and her honest look at the world around her.

Self sacrifice! We were pretty poor when I was growing up. My dad was a social worker who was also trying to earn his masters degree, but my mom felt called to stay at home with me and my sister. To do so she did daycare in her home for a while, cleaned other people's houses, and worked as a school aid where she had recess duty, to name a few of the jobs that make me cringe a little. I'm so thankful she chose to work these crappy jobs so she could make enough extra money to stay home and raise us. And even though I got a little embarrassed in sixth grade when the most popular girl found out I got my outfit at a garage sale, I wouldn't have traded my mom staying at home with us for all of the Guess jeans or Keds sneakers in the world!

This is a bit lengthy, but it barely scratches the surface in trying to explain what a great God has blessed me with. Love you mom!!

After a long delay...

Geesh. How did four months go by? A friend was asking about our blog, and I realized that I'm a slacker. I don't know if anyone bothers to keep up with us any more, but here's the latest update from us.

Ian turned two at the end of March. I often look at him and wish he'd stay this age forever! We have our fair share of mini tantrums and stressful moments, but overall he's a really happy and fun loving little guy. I tell people he's making up for how hard he was as a baby (I think I'm still slightly traumatized!) At his two year appointment he was off the chart in height and weight and the doctor said he's the size of an average three year old. Big surprise there. I'm glad he's a boy because the first things people say when they see him is, "Wow! He's big!" I hope he doesn't develop a complex.

He's recently developed quite a love for Thomas the Train. All it took was getting one train for Christmas from aunt Traci, and the rest is history. I'd heard about this strange obsession from other moms, but never thought my child would be interested in such a thing. But now our play room is filled with a train table, trains and tracks, and all sorts of paraphenalia that are a big foreign to this mom. I'm learning slowly, and figure there are worse things to be obsessed with! My parents took Ian to Thomas and Friend Live over Easter, and Ian was in heaven!


















Of course now that we have a two year old people keep wondering when we're going to have another one. The answer is, we're trying! I was blessed to get pregnant immediately with Ian, but this time around the road has been a bit bumpier. After six months of trying, we found out on Valentine's Day that I was pregnant. To add to the excitement, my sister found out she was pregnant too, and we had the exact same due date! I'm no statistician, but I'm pretty sure the chances of that are like 1 to 3.000,000. After my eight week ultrasound the doctor had some concerns about the way the baby was growing and I went on to have a miscarriage about two weeks later. Needless to say we were very disappointed.

During the two weeks between the ultrasound and miscarriage we were able to pray and have others pray for us and the health of the baby. We were also able to somewhat mentally prepare for the worse. We don't knwo why God chose not to have me carry the baby to full term, but wew trust in his perfect plan, even though it's not easy. Figuring out how to grieve this kind of thing is tricky, especially when not many people knew about the pregnancy in the frist place. And maybe it's weird to share about this on a blog, but I figure if you're readin this you care about us. Or maybe you're a stalker. Either way, it's life, and it's a fairly common occurence, and though I don't feel the need to shout it from a rooftop, it is therapeutic to share with those you love.

All of this to say I'm in a good place right now. I have really felt the Lord telling me to enjoy the time I have with just Ian. I can continue to give him as much love and attention (and play with Thomas Train) as I can until, Lord willing, we have another child. I can rest in knowing that God's timing is perfect, even though I sometimes think otherwise.

New year, new passions.

Geesh. How has it been three months since I last posted? Though life is filled with noteworthy events, I find it hard to blog about the day-in day-out things that happen. Because the end of a year always tends to make me a bit more contemplative than usual, I figured I should share some sort of meaningful update...here goes!

So, I'm starting a Zumba class at our church next week (along with my lovely friend, Courtney Fair). If you would have told me this last year at this time, I probably would have told you that you had me confused with someone else, someone who was in much better shape, and much more self-confident. I've always been conscious of working out and trying to be healthy, but haven't always done that greatest job. But this blog post isn't about starting a Zumba class per say, but about following my passions.

You see, I absolutely LOVE having the opportunity and blessing of being a stay-at-home mom. I don't necessarily love the monotony that a lot of days bring (especially the long winter ones) or some of the frustrations that come with being at home with your child all of the time, but I do love being a mom, and I guess you could say I'm passionate about motherhood. However, it began to occur to me that though I love my son and I think I'm a pretty good mom and wife most of the time, I had begun to lose myself--lose who I was/am as a person. The thought first surfaced when I was complaining to Troy that he could go out and do fun things much more easily than I could. Being the wonderful husband he is, he told me he didn't mind if I left the house to do something fun. When I couldn't even think of what I would do with a free evening by myself, I knew I had a problem.

Being a mom can be so all-encompassing that you lose a part of yourself. I know it's necessary to sacrifice for my family, but not to the extent that I don't have any hobbies aside from cooking, cleaning, and wiping poopy butts. So enter this crazy idea that came into my head: I should start a Zumba class at our church. I had been to a lot of classes over the past couple of years, and had always loved it. I also grew up taking dance classes and my mom was a dance teacher. At first it was a silly "maybe in another life" sort of idea, but as the weeks and months went by, I couldn't shake it. Honestly, I've had very few true passions in life, but since having Ian I've become pretty passionate about health and nutrition. I really felt like the Lord could use these passions in a way that could build a sense of community at our church and help get people excited about health and fitness.

So, here I am, about ready to launch this dream. At times I'm super excited and confident. At other times I'm a little nervous that no one will actually show up or that people won't like what we've been working so hard to prepare for the past couple of months. Either way, I feel a new sense of empowerment for trying something that I never thought I would. Something inside of me has come alive, and I really think it makes me a better mom and wife. So here's to a new year of figuring out and following your passions!