3 months of parenting: the honest truth

The past 3 months have gone by so quickly. It's hard to believe I've survived so long without getting a good night's sleep. Ian has slept 9 hour stretches a handful of times, but it hasn't been consistent. Plus, even when he sleeps longer stretches, my mind is still trained to wake up every few hours throughout the night. Annoying!

Ian has brought a lot of joy to our lives, but he's also been a pretty difficult baby. I don't want to be a big complainer, and I know all babies are a lot of work, but from what I'm finding from being around other babies his age is that he's extra difficult. I've had friends with several kids ask me "is he always like that?" Not very comforting. The doctor called it colic, books call it being "high needs", or "spirited", but I call it very stressful and draining. He has a hard time going to sleep during the day, and some days he literally cries all day and won't take a nap. And he's recently learned how to scream, so that adds some wonderful color. Of course, then I'm crying all day and at my wits end trying to figure out what to do and not lose my mind. It's easy to feel like a bad parent, though I know it's not my fault. I've heard a million times from a million people that it will get better, and that usually around the 3 month mark is when colic goes away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Ian has Troy's temperament in that his arms and legs are moving nonstop when he's awake, and he's always looking around and can't sit still. Unfortunately, he inherited the colic from me...it's weird venting to my mom and having her relate to me because I was such a difficult baby...sorry mom! I'd like to think I turned out to be a relatively decent human being, so there's hope!

It's easy to lose my perspective when I'm home alone all day trying to get a screaming baby to take a nap. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a job so I could leave and not deal with him during the day. But I know this is what the Lord has for me right now. I'm thankful for even having the option to not be employed (BTW, stay at home mom has such a negative connotation sometimes...can we think of a better adjective?? Maybe, sacrificing a rewarding career to raise a child mom?) And with many friends we have struggling with infertility, I am thankful we are blessed to have a child at all.

So again, I hate to be a complainer, but I also hate to say things are wonderful and rewarding and I wouldn't change anything when I don't feel like that most days. Maybe I'll be able to say that in a few months! Right now it's one day at a time. At least he's cute!!

Reminiscing...

It's hard to believe that last year at this time we were living in Atlanta. Our lives have changed so much from that experience, but sometimes it seems like it all happened a lifetime ago. I've been thinking about Atlanta a lot because I received a letter from Demilo, a man I got to know last year while working at the homeless outreach center (centraloutreachandadvocacy.org). I worked with Demilo in his struggle to get off the streets. He was in and out of several shelters and was hospitalized several times because of some mental health issues he was dealing with. We became good friends, and it was really hard to say goodbye to him when we moved back to Indiana. In the letter he sent, he was proud to announce that he now has his own apartment! If you think about it, please pray that he would continue to make good choices and that he can stay off the streets permanently!














I had a love hate relationship with the outreach center. I loved its mission and the hearts of the people who work there. But sometimes I dreaded going in because it was a hard place to be. On several occasions I was cussed out, yelled at, and berated for being white. One time I was physically threatened, and that scared me a bit more than I wanted to admit at the time. Homeless people come from desperate situations, and it's often easy for them to take out their aggression on the people trying to help them. Luckily, people like Demilo made it emotionally possible for me to go into work day after day. He was a bright light in an often dark atmosphere. Demilo would tell you that I saved his life, which is definitely a humbling thought. But in many ways he saved me as I saw the face of God in him each day.