Ian has brought a lot of joy to our lives, but he's also been a pretty difficult baby. I don't want to be a big complainer, and I know all babies are a lot of work, but from what I'm finding from being around other babies his age is that he's extra difficult. I've had friends with several kids ask me "is he always like that?" Not very comforting. The doctor called it colic, books call it being "high needs", or "spirited", but I call it very stressful and draining. He has a hard time going to sleep during the day, and some days he literally cries all day and won't take a nap. And he's recently learned how to scream, so that adds some wonderful color. Of course, then I'm crying all day and at my wits end trying to figure out what to do and not lose my mind. It's easy to feel like a bad parent, though I know it's not my fault. I've heard a million times from a million people that it will get better, and that usually around the 3 month mark is when colic goes away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Ian has Troy's temperament in that his arms and legs are moving nonstop when he's awake, and he's always looking around and can't sit still. Unfortunately, he inherited the colic from me...it's weird venting to my mom and having her relate to me because I was such a difficult baby...sorry mom! I'd like to think I turned out to be a relatively decent human being, so there's hope!
It's easy to lose my perspective when I'm home alone all day trying to get a screaming baby to take a nap. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a job so I could leave and not deal with him during the day. But I know this is what the Lord has for me right now. I'm thankful for even having the option to not be employed (BTW, stay at home mom has such a negative connotation sometimes...can we think of a better adjective?? Maybe, sacrificing a rewarding career to raise a child mom?) And with many friends we have struggling with infertility, I am thankful we are blessed to have a child at all.
So again, I hate to be a complainer, but I also hate to say things are wonderful and rewarding and I wouldn't change anything when I don't feel like that most days. Maybe I'll be able to say that in a few months! Right now it's one day at a time. At least he's cute!!
Katrina... this is EXACTLY why babies are cute!! Eden was (and still is) a wonderful baby, so I can't relate on that note, but even having a wonderful baby I still had days when I wondered why people bothered having kids... then I would look at her beautiful face. God made babies cute so that we wouldn't kill them and we would continue to reproduce!! I will be praying for you that motherhood soon becomes more enjoyable! Can't wait to see you guys again sometime!
ReplyDeleteKatrina, I know you don't know mefrom Adam really but hopefully Troy can vouch that I tell the truth! I feel you pain. Abigail was a very difficult baby. The baby wisperer (Tracy Hogg) called her 'spirited' Her slant on baby's rally helped me look at hings differently.
ReplyDeleteIt will pass, honestly, and in the mean time take ALL offers of help and if you can't get offers start asking people for help.
Praying for you all three!!
Thanks for such an honest post Trina. I think it's good to hear the real truth from someone with a difficult baby. Everyone always talks about the best of times and forgets to mention the worst of times. I am sure your post and you will be an encouragement to others who may go through this same thing in the future. You have been such an enouragement to me, watching you keep such a great attitude!
ReplyDeleteWell, he's cute looking even when he's crying. I know that is what keeps you loving him! My friend who has a 7 month old broke down several times. Her lil Avery wouldn't sleep a wink at night unless mom was holding her or in the room. She told me several times that she would find herself sitting outside Avery's bedroom just sobbing because she didn't know what to do. She said she's been better, but now there's a tooth popping through...
ReplyDeleteBut in the mean time, I'll be praying for your sanity. I know who to go to for advice and for someone to understand at least in the next 4 months!
Katrina,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, I actually was in nursing school with your sister Heidi but wanted you to know I TOTALLY understand where you are right now. My son is 9 months and the first 3 months were horrible. He was very colicy and also had really bad refulx. Hang in there! No one understands unless they have had a 'difficult' baby themself. Just know there is nothing wrong with you, you are a great mom, these are normal thoughts and somehow you will surrive! I will be praying for you and although you don't know me if you need someone to talk to who has been there with the 'fussy, difficult, not what you thought it would be the first few months baby' feel free to email me! :)
Rachel Bertschman
rbertschman@hotmil.com
stay-at-home-mom should be called supermom. sorry to hear how struggling it can be :P i hope you're able to find some "sabbath" moments occasionally to get some rest and peace of mind.
ReplyDeletelove you pretty lady.
love,
joyce