3 months of parenting: the honest truth

The past 3 months have gone by so quickly. It's hard to believe I've survived so long without getting a good night's sleep. Ian has slept 9 hour stretches a handful of times, but it hasn't been consistent. Plus, even when he sleeps longer stretches, my mind is still trained to wake up every few hours throughout the night. Annoying!

Ian has brought a lot of joy to our lives, but he's also been a pretty difficult baby. I don't want to be a big complainer, and I know all babies are a lot of work, but from what I'm finding from being around other babies his age is that he's extra difficult. I've had friends with several kids ask me "is he always like that?" Not very comforting. The doctor called it colic, books call it being "high needs", or "spirited", but I call it very stressful and draining. He has a hard time going to sleep during the day, and some days he literally cries all day and won't take a nap. And he's recently learned how to scream, so that adds some wonderful color. Of course, then I'm crying all day and at my wits end trying to figure out what to do and not lose my mind. It's easy to feel like a bad parent, though I know it's not my fault. I've heard a million times from a million people that it will get better, and that usually around the 3 month mark is when colic goes away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Ian has Troy's temperament in that his arms and legs are moving nonstop when he's awake, and he's always looking around and can't sit still. Unfortunately, he inherited the colic from me...it's weird venting to my mom and having her relate to me because I was such a difficult baby...sorry mom! I'd like to think I turned out to be a relatively decent human being, so there's hope!

It's easy to lose my perspective when I'm home alone all day trying to get a screaming baby to take a nap. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a job so I could leave and not deal with him during the day. But I know this is what the Lord has for me right now. I'm thankful for even having the option to not be employed (BTW, stay at home mom has such a negative connotation sometimes...can we think of a better adjective?? Maybe, sacrificing a rewarding career to raise a child mom?) And with many friends we have struggling with infertility, I am thankful we are blessed to have a child at all.

So again, I hate to be a complainer, but I also hate to say things are wonderful and rewarding and I wouldn't change anything when I don't feel like that most days. Maybe I'll be able to say that in a few months! Right now it's one day at a time. At least he's cute!!

Reminiscing...

It's hard to believe that last year at this time we were living in Atlanta. Our lives have changed so much from that experience, but sometimes it seems like it all happened a lifetime ago. I've been thinking about Atlanta a lot because I received a letter from Demilo, a man I got to know last year while working at the homeless outreach center (centraloutreachandadvocacy.org). I worked with Demilo in his struggle to get off the streets. He was in and out of several shelters and was hospitalized several times because of some mental health issues he was dealing with. We became good friends, and it was really hard to say goodbye to him when we moved back to Indiana. In the letter he sent, he was proud to announce that he now has his own apartment! If you think about it, please pray that he would continue to make good choices and that he can stay off the streets permanently!














I had a love hate relationship with the outreach center. I loved its mission and the hearts of the people who work there. But sometimes I dreaded going in because it was a hard place to be. On several occasions I was cussed out, yelled at, and berated for being white. One time I was physically threatened, and that scared me a bit more than I wanted to admit at the time. Homeless people come from desperate situations, and it's often easy for them to take out their aggression on the people trying to help them. Luckily, people like Demilo made it emotionally possible for me to go into work day after day. He was a bright light in an often dark atmosphere. Demilo would tell you that I saved his life, which is definitely a humbling thought. But in many ways he saved me as I saw the face of God in him each day.

2 months an counting

Well, Ian is 2 months old and he's still alive. We definitely love our little guy, but he's been a challenge lately. For the past few weeks he's been crying every time he's awake. The doctor said he has colic, which basically the catch-all diagnosis for babies who cry all the time without a reason. We've tried just about everything, but nothing helps. We'll just have to survive the next month or so, as colic usually subsides around 3 months. Needless to say, we're pretty exhausted, but we're hanging in there. There are some good moments, though I wish they would last longer.






































Ian chillin' with second cousin, Keaton, who was born 9 days after him.




























Ian usually loves the Baby Bjorn.


On a happier note, we're very thankful for Troy's job. AU has been making some cutbacks lately. Out of the 4 HVAC techs employed, one of them was let go yesterday. We're so thankful that Troy still has his job. He is the newest of the 4 guys, but the hardest worker. It's scary to think about what we would have done had it been Troy!















My fam came for memorial day!!

And on a not so happier note, we ask for your prayers for Mission Year. We spent a year in Atlanta with the organization last year. There is a new team staying in our exact apartment this year, and over the weekend, one of the girls was stabbed. Apparently, someone came in the back door when she was sitting in the living room and stabbed her in the neck. The police think it may have been a gang initiation. Miraculously, the girl will be okay, but it really could have been fatal. It's scary for something like this to hit so close to home. I wonder about how many times I or one of my teammates was sitting in the living room alone, and how we probably took our safety for granted. Many of our former neighbors are scared, so please keep them in your prayers, as well as the Mission Year team.

Free diapers

A lady in my breastfeeding support group told me that you can get a free package of diapers from this site:
http://www.huggiespureandnatural.com/default.aspx
It only goes up to size 2. If you don't have a baby, it would be a great baby shower gift (since everyone and his brother are having babies now!)
I hope it works. Doesn't hurt to try.

Garden!

Oh, and we also planted our garden. I didn't think it would happen, but it did (thanks to our friends the Sprocks!) Hopefully something actually grows. Our soil has a lot of clay, so it might take a couple of years to really make it fertile. At least it looks cool! We're hoping to make this sort of a neighborhood endeavor, but this is the trial run. We planted tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, zucchini, spinach, and lettuce.

Mommy brain

Everyone tells you how much your life will change once you have a kid, but you can't really understand it until you actually have one. The most difficult thing hands down has been the lack of sleep. It's amazing that I can spend 10 hours in bed, but only get 4 hours of sleep (which is what happened last night). Someone told me today that's why God made babies so cute. You can wake up in the morning and still love your baby because he's so darn cute, even though he screamed for half of the night. Poor Ian has had a lot of gas lately, so it's hard to blame him for the screaming. There are about a million theories out there about why babies have gas and how to get rid of it, so trying to fix the problem is a bit overwhelming.

The second hardest thing about having a newborn is trying to leave the house. It takes at least three times longer to get ready in the morning, and I feel like I'm always late to everything, no matter how hard I try! Plus you have to bring 10X as much stuff with you.

Since we've decided that I'm going to stay home full time with Ian, I'm trying to view raising him as my job. I can see why people want to go back to work, though, because this is definitely a 24/7 job (I'm breastfeeding as week speak. hopefully that's not TMI).

The first 6 weeks have been sort of a blur, but I'm trying to enjoy this time that he's so little, because I know it will fly by. He's started to smile a bit, which is rewarding. Here are a couple of cute pics. I think he looks more like Troy every day.















Getting some tummy time.
















Not sure how he can sleep like this.















some snuggle time with daddy















Grandpa Petre reading to Ian

Blog slacker

I've finally found a bit of time to update the blog! Usually when I'm on the computer, it's one handed because I'm holding or feeding Ian. Maybe I should practice one-handed typing--I could do some amazing multi-tasking!

Ian turned one month on Sunday. The time has absolutely flown by, partly because we've been in a sleep-deprived semi-conscious state of being. Ian is doing really well. He was 10 lbs at his one month appt., only 9 ounces less than Troy's birth weight (thanks again, Dr. Blake, for inducing me 2 1/2 weeks early!

We celebrated Easter with both sides of Troy's family since they live in Frankton and Lapel. Here's Ian with his cute little Easter outfit on.















Ian also got to meet two new friends. Owen Cook was born three weeks before him, and Brody Bell was born the day before. Here all three of them are lined up in a row.















Ian's first bath. He enjoyed the second bath a bit more.















Ian and daddy sleeping on the couch. Too cute!




















Our friends from Atlanta, Jeff and Katie, sent Ian this onsie. Atlanta is referred to as the ATL, and Troy always joked about coming back to the AND. Ian is definitely a townie!